Argh!!!

I just wanted to share something. How come some guys flirts a lot even though they already have a girlfriend. It pisses me off!!!

If he thinks na sasakyan ko yung mga FLIRTING strategies niya! Excuse me!!! Sorry siya! Hindi na ko patay na patay sa kanya! Kaasar! ASSUMING ah!

By the way I'm not talking about "chinito", I'm talking about "my friendly neighbor" (Kilala niyo na ba?)

Mantra's

It's almost 1 in the morning here, and yet I still couldn't get myself to sleep. I'm so tired from the walking here and there but I don't feel sleepy at all. I just found myself opening the YouTube and searching for songs and then suddenly I'm surprised that I was typing in the search box "mantra/s".

My friend Mara used this topic for her teaching demo on our Strategy class last semester, and we even do the "mantra" thing after the lecture. But some of my classmates didn't took the activity seriously that's why I was influenced and I'm sort of giggling while doing it in class. So here comes Johnny, a good friend of mine, who introduced the chanting thing. I remember when we watched together a YouTube mantra through yahoo chat, well this time I took the "mantra" thing more seriously and the feeling doing the mantra is gives me like a goose bumps yet relaxing your mind.

And I guess that's the reason why I'm doing the "mantra" thing now. I need to relax my mind from all the stresses. I need peace of mind at least before going to sleep so that I would have a very pleasant dreams.

Well, I'm gonna continue the chanting thing for a couple of minutes and then I'll go straight to bed na.

So yeah! goodMornYt!

zZz

New Hope...

Wow! Super nabuhayan ako ng loob when I get to talk to Ate Gigi through facebook. She was a former flight attendant, so I asked her a few questions that I have in mind about her job before.

If you guys are not aware, I wanted to take up Tourism before but because of some reasons I ended up in Nursing. I don't have regrets naman in tooking up Nursing, I can still be a flight nurse naman eh since madaming landing jobs ang Nursing.

The very basic reason why I wanted to be a flight attendant before is that I wanted to travel in different places around the globe.

My dreams of becoming a flight attendant faded when some people here are telling me that "dapat your eye vision is normal" etc. I lost hope of becoming one because my eye vision is not normal na, its not 20-20! I used to wore an eye glasses when I was in first year high school but some people at school thinks I'm a genius so I never wore that eye glasses again kahit I'm having a hard time reading na. Haha I just make sure na I get to seat in front of the class para I won't have a hard time when it comes to lecture.

So back to Ate Gigi, I asked her.... "Ate Gigi, is it true na dapat malinaw mata mo kapag flight attendant ka?" and she told me na its not necessary naman daw, you could wear contact lenses naman. And boom! a sudden rush of blood over me! I still have a chance!!! I super wanted to jump out of happiness nung nalaman ko yun.

Because of that I have made a new plan for my future. Haha! After I graduate next year and pass the local board, I will took up the NCLEX and whatever exams I needed to take to be an RN. And then I will specialized as an Operating Room Nurse or Dialysis Nurse, and then I have to take an IV training. And then I'm going to submit whatever requirements sa mga airlines. And from then on, kung ano unang dumating na job for me I will grab it agad. If unang dumating yung flight attendant I will work for 5 years siguro. I think sa 5 years na yun I would be able to travel in different places na with pay pa! haha Wag lang babagsak yung plane! hehehe And after 5 years I'm going to stick to nursing for the rest of my life. Hehe But just in case mauna yung Nursing Career ko, hmm oh well I have to stick to it forever na.

Actually, in whatever angle ko tignan mas malaki ang salary sa Nursing career ko. Pero kasi happiness naman is not about the money your earning eh. It's about reaching your goals in life. Yeah! yun ay para sa akin, so walang kokontra! hehe

:)

Group 1 Gala

Yesterday, the weather was not really good. It was raining so hard. But the rain won't stop us from eating Shabu-Shabu! arghhh So we took a cab up to Shangrila, by the way I was with my group 1B fellas. Upon reaching Shang, we hurriedly go to the Shabu-Shabu stall since we were super hungry, because we only had a few slices of cake for lunch.

We don't talk much while eating, as they said " galit-galit muna". Kasi gutom na nga kami! So we all wanted to finish eating first before "chikahan" in order to regain energy. But since we are all sort of cam whore, we can't stop ourselves from taking some pics while eating our cute shabu-shabu. We also ate siomai after, for drinks, Mean, Val and I had iced tea, while Mae and Correa had coconut shake (eww, I wonder what does it tastes).

After we ate, we went in a karaoke room at Quantum. Yep! It's so kewl! We had a video while singing. I actually uploaded it at youtube, but then I won't post it in public since we were wearing our uniforms and we'll be dead if the faculty sees that. Actually, we were not allowed to post any pics nor video of ours wearing our uniforms. So we really are dead meat if they see that video, it's not nude hahaha but we were wearing our uniform. Just in case you guys wanna see it, just send me a message. *wink

Lemme continue my story...

So we sang... and then I went out of the glass room to look for a song. And I was surprised when a guy seats beside me. So I took a look at him using my peripheral vision. haha! yeah! I'm surprised that this guy is a "HEY". Just in case you guys was not familiar of that lingo of ours, "HEY" means "CUTE/HOTTie guy". So I went inside the room again and I told them, "take a look at that guy, what do you think?" and they said "a HEY" so I told them to take a picture of us haha while seating outside, so the second time I went out I pretend I was looking for a song again. haHa yAy! I hope he doesn't noticed what were planning.

And we all like going super hyper again seeing a 'HEY' around the corner. Haha! He is cute but I think he's old, so whatever! I like somebody else anyway he's older than me too but I much like him like super likey him, we don't have pictures together though, because he's so far like the stars from up above. haha

So back to Quantum, after 12 songs we decided to go back home since we're all tired and wasted. Actually, we just wanted to dine out and celebrate because the 1st rotation for the summer duty is over. And you know for another "bonding time". Next time we'll go play billiards, of course not in our uniforms.

till next time folks!

For One More Day

I finally finished reading "For One More Day" by Mitch Albom, the guy who wrote the famous book "Tuesdays With Morrie".

Upon reading the book I just find myself crying, because I am so much affected of the story. It was pretty much like the life of my brother, but not the suicidal part of course!

Well I don't have to narrate the story because it's pretty long.

I just want to write something about my realizations after reading that book.

[+] It was true that we can see the purest love in our mother's eye.

[+] You have to finish college first before anything else. Or in other words "Study first".

[+] Fame is just temporary, so don't be so much attached to it.

[+] Never take for granted your Family.

[+] Regrets is somehow feeling helpless.

[+] You cannot change back the time so make the most out of it. Live, Laugh, Love!

[+] Wait for your time, never rush! death will come to you. Don't be so excited!

[+] Don't drink too much nor smoke, because it kills you slowly.

[+] When death is close to you, you will see your dead relatives and they sort of "SUNDO" you.

[+] When you've done wrong in your past, remember that there's always a room for a change. So find a room for a change and correct whatever you've done wrong.

hmmm so that's all folks...

Sleepless Night

"Have you ever cried in the middle of the night...

Nobody hears you,

Nobody comforts you,

Nobody...

Except you and your pillows...

i just did..."

[untitled]

I don't have much to tell this day. Aside from the fact that we've talked for awhile. Hay! Can somebody pls help me tell him that I wasn't talking about Cris on my last blog entry. It was all about him! Argh! I don't know if he's playing a game on me, I'm sure he knows that I was talking about him on that blog entry, but how come he is sort of denying that he knows it and keeps on telling me that its Cris blah blah! Oh My! I don't know what to do! Should I tell him about that? No!!!! I can't I'm scared!

How Cruel Of Me...

I hate it! I just lied to him. I didn't told him that I was really waiting for him, that's why I made myself busy and stay up a bit late in my time last night hoping he'll be on...

It was sunday morning here, and I saw him online. We had a small chat and that's it. When he's about to go he said "sorry" and I asked him "why"? he told me because "You were hoping I'll be on tonight, but I have to go quickly..." (it wasn't the exact words he said but it was sort of like that) I immediately told him that it wasn't him that I was talking about in my status message in facebook. Oh my! I don't know why I denied the fact that he was really the one I was pertaining to in that status message. I really felt so bad about it. I wanted to tell him out loud that "Yes, I am waiting for you", but I didn't! How come when it comes to him I'm so weak and fragile.

I'm scared he'll find out that I'm starting to like him. It's really weird because I don't know anything much about him. I don't understand myself why am I feeling this way for him. I'm not sure if this is true and if it is I hope this will be forever, until forever ends. I'm just not sure if he likes me that way that's why I'll rather keep this feeling from him. Unless he's the one who gets to open up about this. yaY! (Stop dreamin' Kylie!)

I super like him! He's way far better than _ _ _ _. I'm sure of it! He is a good guy! That's how I see him. He completes my day! Yeah! seriously!

oh well... I'd better stop here...

"Wise men said only fools rush in... But I can't help fallin' in love with you..."

"A thousand pair of eyes may speak of overwhelming admiration over you and sometimes, it could be flattering, sometimes it draws a smile on your face. But at the end of the day, no matter how many people express such adoration, you'd still want to be with that person who doesn't only see you as someone to be praised, but someone who, despite seeing your weaknesses, still embraces and kisses you and shares your laughter and pains...Six billion people and all you need is one.." ^_^

till my next blog...

:)

I Think I want one... but...

I was browsing the net and I saw this cute pic... It's a Yorkshire Terrier. Isn't cute? I want one!!! But I'm scared of dogs. Yah! Seriously! I super don't feel at ease when there's a dog wandering around. The reason behind it, I was bitten by a dog way back. However, I know that someday I could overcome this anxiety I have for dogs. Haha yah! I think by owning one is the solution.

So to my beloved friends if you do have a dog with this kind of breed... can I have one? for free? I'll take it as a birthday present and a christmas gift too!!! haha isn't great?

love you guyz!!! it'll be a help! really!!! hahaha

:)

Beautiful & Pretty

I'm always thankful whenever somebody told me that I'm BEAUTIFUL rather than PRETTY. Why? Hmmm okay! I'll dig deeper into it. Actually I got this idea from my best friend, and I've realized that yeah she's right! I'd rather be called BEAUTIFUL. So I made a little research to support the idea.

What was the difference between BEAUTIFUL and PRETTY? If you'll look at the dictionary you may find that Pretty is one of the synonyms of Beautiful. However, Pretty may be use to construct a negative statement.

Beautiful is more likely describing the inside-out beauty of a person, while Pretty is more aptly depicting the physical beauty.

I hope I get that clear. :)

House for Sale?

My 3rd blog for the day...

We are selling our house because of some personal reason. Only my super close friends knows why. Oh well, I just hope that before the 1st half of the year somebody will buy our house. Seriously, I'm not sure if this is right, I just remember what Johnny has told me yesterday... "there is no right nor wrong decision". I don't want to leave our house, that's a fact. This is the place where I spent almost 20 years of my life. However, this is the only way to continue our life. Probably if you are good in guessing you might know now why we have to sell our house. But I bet you won't find the real reason behind, not unless you will have the courage to ask it from me.

Where was I? oh yeah! so as I was saying... All the nice and the not-so nice moments of my life was spent here in our house. I seriously need a miracle to be able to save our house at the same time our lives! Before it's too late...

I really can't imagine things have to end up this way. A lot of life challenges are on our way. And sometimes you have to sacrifice something in order to continue life.

Oh my! what a stressor!

:(

Work

The other day I found a quote about work. It says:

" I don't like work, but what I like about work is the chance to know my myself..."

I forgot the man behind those words but I find it amzing. It is true! I find myself getting attached to this quote. I myself doesn't like work. I've tried working before and I find myself quitting. Not because I'm no good for that job, but because I don't find myself in that job. So I'd rather quit, than keep moving without being on the track.


I'm not looking for a high paying job. I just want to find myself enjoying the job that I will be landing on in the near future. I want to find a job that will suit my personality, where I will find self-improvements, and a job where I could find the passion of working.

Thursday Morning...

I woke up so early just like the other days, but the thing is I don't have a duty today. So here, I am online once again and blogging. Yesterday, I was trying to write something, but too bad I'm experiencing a writer's block that's why I couldn't finish that blog entry. I just saved it as a draft, probably I'll post it once I get to think of an ending to that post.

Today, a lot of thoughts are coming into my mind... "my desires in life"... I'll talk about this one by one...

[+] Playing Piano: When I was in high school, I used to go for a Piano class near our house. I attended several session but then I stopped. Why? because I just can't find time in my busy schedule. I will continue it anyway, after my graduation next year. I think its a good way of releasing tension when your playing an instrument, so yeah I will continue my piano class. I remember that my teacher told me that I'm a fast learner, yay! that means its not too late for me to learn it.

[+] To be a writer/director: I discover my writing talent when I was in grade school. I've written a script for a classroom play. And then in high school, with the help of Kuya Efren (he wrote the script) I've directed a classroom play. And in college, I've also made a script base on a story for the theater festival and also became one of the director. So yeah, I like to write something depending on my mood. But to be specific I want to write scripts for a play. And I also wanted to have my own book. Hopefully, in the near future I could have written one.

[+] Photography : I super love cameras! I love photos! I want to be the model or the person behind the camera. I would also like to enter a photography class if I were given a chance, but I think its quite expensive. So, probably i won't ever get the chance to attend a class anyway. :(

[+] Singer/Dancer/Actress : Yeah! I love to sing, dance & above all act. I would love to join a formal class about this but once again I don't have money so I won't be able to attend one. Therefore, I just have to join our school activities so that I could practice and develop my talent (if i really do have talent). :p

[+] To be a Disc Jock (DJ) : I just realized that I want to be one when I started listening to RX Monster Radio. I find the DJ thing a cool stuff. Yeah! So I want to be one someday! :) Who knows I might get the chance to be one. :)

[+] To be a chef of my own kitchen : My mom and my sister is good when it comes to cooking. I know how to cook but then compared to them, I'm still no good. That maybe is the reason behind why I studied so hard and be my best in technology class, which is Food trades. Wherein, I became the Best in Food Trades for 3 consecutive years in high school. I wanted to prove that I can be like my mom and sister who cooks delicious foods. Nowadays, I don't cook not unless I'm alone and I have no choice but to cook my own food. :)

[+] To drive my own car : I don't have a car of my own, but hopefully once I have my own job I'll buy one. I know its so "mababaw" to be one of my desires. But you know I find it cool seeing a woman drive whether its a motorcycle or a car, or a truck. I wanted to ask my brother to teach me how to drive since he has a car, but I bet he won't teach me because he'll be thinking na "magagasgasan ko yung car niya".

[+] To be an Operating Room Nurse/ Dialysis Nurse/ Anesthetist Nurse/Psychiatric Nurse : If i have to specialized in Nursing, that is any from above mention. It's not because of the high pay that I could earn, but rather because it is my passion. It's the area I find myself most interested with. I find myself enjoying the area no matter how challenging it is to be there.

[+] To be a Surgeon : For me, the real doctors are surgeons. You cut and you suture. You really save lives! If ever I'll get to earn extra money, I will pursue my dreams of becoming a surgeon. Actually, I was inspired to be one whenever I watched Grey's Anatomy and when I was assigned at the OR. Oh shocks! I remember Dr. G! the surgeon that I super crush! Anyway, I find it amazing and exciting whenever I get to assist in one of the operations. It is bloody red! but seeing the internal organs of a human being is something interesting to learn, not everyone is given a chance to see one for real. :)

Oh well... that's all folks! till here!

keep reading my blog to know the different side of Me!

xoxo

:)

ky's in LOve?

"a weird feeling...
something I shoudn't entertain...
I shouldn't consider my feelings for him..."


Lately, I promised myself to fall in love no more. Awhile ago, a good friend asked if I do fall easily. It hits me, and I answered 'YES'. There's nothing to hide about it, KYLIE falls in love easily. He said right into me that it's no good. Well, yah! Basically, I knew it. I knew what will happen in the end, it's worth trying. How can I help it, this is me. I just love to love,and I'm not afraid to LOVE. I also knew that 'when you love, expect to be hurt... ' That's the basic thing I've learned about love. "You bleed just to know you're ALIVE..." (Iris)

Oh! I just remember a quote...

" to love someone doesn't mean to COMMIT with that person... sometimes you just have to be satisfied with whatever connection you have with that special someone..."

I am pretty much sticking to that quote until now. It's not necessary for me to be in a relationship whenever I fall for someone, the mere fact that I'm talking to him or being with him makes me feel allot better than having nothing at all. the craziest thing I've done when I really like someone is that I tell right infront of him that I LIKE HIM! and I guess running into the basement is one of the crazy things. But then no matter how stupid I was for doing that, at the end I've learned! I've learned that next time I shouldn't be doing those things for someone I like. Let them do their part! *wink*

And now, with no other statement to be said.... I admit I've fallen for him!

He is not Cris! My story with Cris probably end up at the basement of the hospital! He is way better than Cris! That's all I know. He appreciates me a lot and it gives me allot of confidence to face the world.

However, this special sentiments that I have for him will never be voice out. And I will make sure that I will keep this from him forever... Because, first, I know that he doesn't feel the same for me, second... I'm tired!~ If ever, there will come a point in our life that this person will love me, well I just hope that he'll say it out loud... I'll be just right here, waiting...

And if ever! just in case he'll get to read this blog...

>>> ' i've come here not to make you love me, but to let you feel that your so much worth LoVing... ' <<<

I was blessed for God lead me the way to you... yay!


another quote before I end this blog entry...

" one cannot question the existence of feelings.
they are there, raw and undeniable.
but one can choose not to nurture what is felt ---
yet no matter what they say,
what has been felt will always be more honest that what was chosen..." ~anonymous~

^_^

Thinking of Cris

I wonder why I'm always thinking of him. Sabi nila kapag daw naiisip mo yung isang tao, naiisip ka din daw nito. Pero in my case, I don't think that he was also thinking of me. I super liked Cris from the very start. And up until now, I'm still hoping for a miracle! a miracle na maging kami!!! waaa!!! AS IF!!! I think he doesn't like me, the way I like him. We had so much differences, and one thing I found common sa amin eh yung course namin which is NURSING. Oh pati the passion for music!

For those people who doesn't know Cris in my life. Siya yung guy I met sa myyearbook. And then after 3 months we decided to finally met up in person. But then after the day we met up, natigil na yung communication namin. I really don't know why! Probably, he doesn't like me etc. But napaka MEAN naman niya kung yun yung reason why he's avoiding me dba! That was January nung nag meet kami... and after 2 1/2 months, God answered my prayer! Nagkita kami accidentally in a place and time na I don't really expect seeing him. It was the 1st day of immersion sa tapat ng school namin, 5:30 in the morning!!! At first, hindi ako makapaniwala na siya yung nakita kong dumaan, that's why I had to follow him hanggang sa basement nung hospital (where he is currently having his training, which is my based hospital naman) para lang makasigurado na I wasn't having hallucinations. And BOOM! when i called his name, lumingon siya. Sa sobrang tuwa ko seeing him, hindi ko alam yung sasabihin ko. Oh well, we didn't talked much, siguro mga 3 minutes lang kami nakapag-usap!!! and that was the best 3 minutes ever!!! Kaya nga habang nasa immersion ako medyo inspired ako kasi nakita ko siya. Sayang kasi sandali lang kami nakapag-usap.

I hope God will let our fate meet again, and by that time sana makausap ko siya ng matagal and makasama ng matagal.


Seriously, I'm trying to forget him na kasi nasasaktan ako thinking that he doesn't like me. Pero what can I do, I'm too weak when it comes to HEART matter. I always follow what my heart is beating for. Siya kasi yung guy na opposite ng mga qualities I'm looking for, except for the fact na chinito siya. EwAn ko ba! I think it was fate na magkakilala kami.

I wanted to know what he thinks of me, hay! i'm thinking of impossible! Siguro, dun lang ako titigil once I figured it out.

For now, I'll try to be contented browsing his pics sa facebook and friendster niya. :)

Back from Immersion

I just got back from the immersion. I can't believe it that I survived the two weeks in a not so familiar place. Looking back, I think I wouldn't survived that two weeks without my groupmates and friends. A lot of things had happened in two weeks time. I can't imagine that I've just done the things I'm not usually doing at home, like cleaning the CR, surrounding, room, washing the dishes, etc. I even ate the foods I don't feel like eating.

The immersion learning experience was something different. The setup of learning is not inside the classroom nor the hospital setup, its within the community, to be specific a community that is less fortunate. Its a community nursing actually.

However, in our immersion, we also had the chance to tour in a place where the people are forgotten and hated. I'm not talking about the cemetery! I don't know how to describe that place in a nice way... We had the chance to tour the NBP (NEW BILIBID PRISON), if you don't know that place it is found in Muntinlupa City. It is where the criminals are kept. We had the chance to see what's inside the NBP. We went inside the maximum, and medium and their museum plus we went to the Lethal Injection room, it is the exact place where the criminals are punished death lethally. We had a chance to mingle with the prisoners in the medium but not in the maximum. They even had a small program prepared for us. Seriously, those people inside are sort of harmless. But at first, I'm really really scared because of the fact that they have done somethings that is harmful. At the end of the tour I've realized that people had a chance to change, although it is known that whatever they've done from the past cannot be corrected... All they can do is to change for the better and not to commit the same mistakes again and again. In the lethal injection room, it gives me a creep. Seeing the exact place where they killed the criminals via lethal injection.

Oh well, till here... I'll just continue this post some other day... I'm quite tired...