Moving Mountain

Why is moving on that tough? Can somebody pls explicate this to me? Why do I have to see the person who brings me heartache all over again? They say everything ensues for a reason, right? So, seeing him out of the blue could mean, what?

I'll be hypocrite if I would say that I'm not in high spirits seeing him around, the fact is I truly am, whenever he is right next to me. But somehow I feel a bit gauche about it.

We never get to talk to each other nowadays and it hurts a lot when he's there right in front of me and it seems like he's not happy seeing me around.

However, the same old feelings are coming back whenever I see him. Darn! I'm such a fool because I like him that much.

:(

Today Conversation with "J"

I won't make the story long...

Well he keeps on bugging me why I liked him, me on the otherhand cannot explain the reason behind it. Argh! I don't know naman talaga! It wasn't about physical attraction and I'm very sure of it, since "hindi pa kami nagkikita personally". *sigh* If I do have the answers to his question sasagutin ko naman eh. I mean there's nothing to hide naman. Basta all I know I'm happy talking to him and my friends are my witness, because they can tell that I'm really happy.

*sigh Sigh sigh* Bakit nga kaya?

He finds it funny, because I LIKED him so fast... erRR ano magagawa ko eh yun yung feeling ko eh!

On our conversation he also asked me if ever I had my heart broken? well, napaisip tuloy ako... When do you say that your heart broken? When was the last time somebody broke my heart? Is it really broken? For me kasi heart broken is something like the person you like doesn't like you the way you liked him/her, wherein you feel rejected etc... That was broken hearted for me. Hmm the last guy who broke my heart was "C"... I really felt bad about it, but I have to move on and even though things doesn't work up the way I wanted it to be, I'm still happy because at least nagtagpo ang aming landas!!! haha tagalog na tagalog. I never regret knowing him.

As for "J", your saying that you don't fall easily even if you like the girl right? Well, does it mean you sort of like me but not attached? Don't worry I'm not asking you to fall for me anyway... Lets just enjoy whatever there is for us, right? That's something I've learned from my past experience, enjoy the next good thing! And if you don't like me, just say it so ok? I'll rather hear the truth than a lie. (as if naman he's reading this eh noh? haha)

^_^

A Gracious Day!

First and simplest reason why I find this day gracious kasi nagising pa ako from a very deep sleep, which means God has given me another chance to live.

Second....

>>> All my loved ones are all safe...

Third....

>>> It was my daily routine to check my emails and log in to my yahoo messenger and check who among my friends are online. I was surprised that my good friend "LOLO J" was online. That wasn't his real name of course its just my alias for him, para naman mysterious ang dating. Haha So, we chat for a couple of minutes and then I log out na since I still have my duty and I have to leave the house at 5:30am. Talking to "Lolo J" brightens my day, yeah seriously! Dunno why, but I guess it just proves that I really like him, though we haven't seen each other in person. Could it be possible? Well, I guess it is possible in my case. haha It's weird how I wish he likes me too or at least misses my presence. LOL

Fourth...

>>> I've seen once again my groupmates who are very dear to me. I misses them a lot since we haven't seen each other for 3 weeks. So I'm glad kasi sama-sama na naman kami for this rotation. Kumpleto na naman ang "Group 1 celebs!" naks!!!

Fifth...

>>> "Mr. C" was our built-in Clinical Instructor!!! that's not his real name, I won't publish it here. Of course my groupmates knows him, so ok na yun na sila lang nag nakaka-alam. Not unless mapilit kayo at pilitin niyo ako na sabihin sa inyo kung sino si "Mr. C" haha. So ayun, I'm so happy kasi I had a crush on him before, kaso that time he wasn't handling us but now he was! So nagulat ako seeing him! haha with this, sakto my NSD so ako yung assist, and my gosh another humiliating moment for me, he was asking "sino yung assist" and my friend "L" answered " si kylie po" and medyo tinulak niya ako ng kaunti and I said " ako po Sir"... and then sabi ni "Mr. C", "name?" ako naman parang nabingi at hindi ko naintindihan yung sinabi niya and inulit niya ulit yung tanong niya sabi niya " name mo? nakalimutan mo na?" (parang natatawa siya) arghhh! tapos dun lang ako natauhan na he was asking my name kasi nga naman he's the one grading us! arghhh so sinabi ko name ko tapos I gigled pero pa-cute na gigle! hahaha (LANDI) so basta ayun na he was beside me and his hands are on my shoulder tapos pushing me papunta sa sterile area. NAKS! KILIG NA KILIG ako! shocks! haha kay tagal kong hinintay ang oras na yun! LOL so ayun! During the NSD, he also went beside me pero he was checking the contraction of the uterus, basta ang mahalaga andun siya sa tabi ko! haha tapos after the NSD, so the usual thing > "cleaning time". So since I was the assist, I have to wash the instruments at the back. So sabi ni Mr. C, "Pikihugasan na lang yung mga instruments dun sa may Mumu".... eh since I'm scared of ghosts sabi ko "SIR NAMAN!" haha tapos natawa siya sabi niya "sige basta pag may nakita ka or something takbo ka na lang" and then he giggle. Bibiruin ko sana eh, sasabihin ko sana "samahan niyo naman ako", kaso hindi ko nasabi kasi duh PROFESSIONAL STUDENT NURSE ako! *wink*. So I went at the back to wash the instruments, seriously natatakot ako but I pretend that I'm matapang! hehe I was really praying while washing the instruments para hindi magpakita kung ano man ang meron dun. Tapos a little later Mr. C checked on me for awhile kung kamusta na ang ginagawa ko. And siyempre medyo nagtanong ako "Sir san po ito ilalagay after" haha para medyo tumagal siya dun. haha kanya kanyang deskarte lang yan as they say! *wink*.

Pero may napansin ako ah, feeling ko kasi tinitignan niya ako when I went to the station to copy the diagnosis, ewan ko feeling ko lang naman un. Nyay! KILIG to the BONES!



So that's the 5 reasons why this day is very GRACIOUS!!!

Pero at the end of the day ang nasa isip ko pa din si "Lolo J", I can't explain much about how I feel for him pero basta siya yung naiisip ko eh. Haha hmmm baka he was thinking of me too. LOL

Some facts lang before I end this up:

"Girls have innumerable CRUSHES but their hearts only belong to ONE guy..."

& "Guys may be flirting all day but beore they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly love about..."

^_^